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“I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up”

Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)

About: Children quotes, Funny quotes.

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21-30 Quotations of 710

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“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”

Frank Sinatra quotes (American Actor and Singer, 1915-1998)

Similar Quotes. About: Drinking quotes, Funny quotes, Mankind quotes, Enemies quotes, Alcohol quotes.

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“There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

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“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Foolishness quotes, Women quotes.

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“I knew my mother had it in for me from a young age. My bath toys were an electric toaster and hair-dryer.”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

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“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

Bob Hope quotes (English born American Actor and Comedian, 1903-2003)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

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“Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

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“If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Advice quotes.

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“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”

Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

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“Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

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“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”

Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Men quotes, Women quotes.

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