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Jeff Foxworthy quotes

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American comedian, b.1958
Jeff Foxworthy quotes
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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“[Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother -- you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.”

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