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“I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
About: Children quotes, Funny quotes.
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“To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.”
Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.”
Alexai Sayle quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, America and Americans quotes.
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“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
Tommy Cooper quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Driving quotes.
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“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
Calvin & Hobbes quotes (Fictional characters from the comic series created by Bill Watterson.)
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“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
Will Rogers quotes (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)
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“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.”

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“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”
Warren Hutcherson quotes
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“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure”

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“Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.”
sunkissd248
Similar Quotes. About: Friends quotes, Friendship quotes, Funny quotes.
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“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Youth quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.
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