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“President Bush said for security reasons, he's sworn off all e-mail communication. He will not be using email at the White House at all. Is that a good idea? I mean, it's not like that speaking thing was working out so good.”

Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)

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“(The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person, so just the smartest person is left. It is kind of the opposite way we elect a president.”

Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)

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“Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.”

Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)

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“Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?”

Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)

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“Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

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“I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.”

Senator John Kerry quotes (American Senator, b.1943)

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“Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.”

Alexai Sayle quotes

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“If you can't convince them, confuse them.”

Harry S Truman quotes (American 33rd President of the United States, 1884-1972)

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“The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”

Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)

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“Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think”

Tom Wilson quotes (American actor, writer and comedian)

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