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“(The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person, so just the smartest person is left. It is kind of the opposite way we elect a president.”
Jenny0103 Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?”
Jenny0103 Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.”
Jenny0103 Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
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“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

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“According to this week's Time magazine, President George Bush is a serious fitness buff. He works out 60 to 90 minutes a day with weights. Apparently he likes working out because it 'clears his mind.' Sometimes it works a little too well.”
Jenny0103 Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
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“Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is appropriate to have civilians with no experience running a Navy sub. Hey, how about an investigation into whether it's appropriate to have a civilian with no experience running the country?”
Jenny0103 Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Emo Philips quotes
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“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
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“An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be”

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