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“The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

About: African American quotes.

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“Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Sports quotes, Movies quotes.

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“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes.

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“Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Men and Women quotes.

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“What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.”

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Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Internet quotes, Pornography quotes.

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“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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