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“Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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21-30 Quotations of 1604

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“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

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“Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.”

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“An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be”

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“If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".”

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“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.”

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“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.”

Franklin P. Jones quotes (American Businessman, 1887-1929)

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“Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.”

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“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives”

Sue Murphy quotes

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“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

Winston Churchill quotes (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)

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“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”

Janeane Garofalo quotes (American Actress and Comedian. b.1964 Newton, New Jersey, USA)

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