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“A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.”

Chauncey Depew quotes (American Industrialist and Politician, 1834-1928)

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1-10 Quotations of 3363

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“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

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“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

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“Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

Emo Philips quotes

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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.

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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”

Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.

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“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”

Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)

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“If you can't convince them, confuse them.”

Harry S Truman quotes (American 33rd President of the United States, 1884-1972)

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“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried”

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“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Youth quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.

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