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Authors > Y Yzz > Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff quotes

Russian born American Comedian. b.1951

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“Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.”

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“In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.”

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“I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.”

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“In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you.”

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“In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.”

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“The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.”

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“Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.”

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