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Stressed quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote"Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: "How the Grinch Stole the Election". And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we?



Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot,

But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not.

I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking,

By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking.

Election Day came and the voting was close,

At one point the Grinch even started to boast,

'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed,

Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane.

But was he the winner, hey not so fast--

Al Gore called him up and said, "Grinch, kiss my ass!"

The race was too tight to say who was elected,

The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected.

All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess,

But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess,

Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked,

They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich.

The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets,

To complain about fraud, not to mention the heat.

The Grinch said something that couldn't be gosher,

'This election my friends, is perfectly kosher.'

Then a judge ruled each vote should be counted by hand,

The Grinch said, 'That's not what my brother Jeb had planned.'

His lawyers filed motions and junctions and writs,

Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits.

But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through,

He met Cindy Lou Lipshitz, age 92.

'Why?' she cried, 'Did you steal our election?'

The Grinch just laughed and gave her a lethal injection.

They say the Grinch's ego grew 3 sizes that day,

Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way.

So here's a lesson for now and for later,

Don’t blame me-- I voted for Nader!"
 xxxbefxxx

 Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteIn my youth I stressed freedom, and in my old age I stress order. I have made the great discovery that liberty is a product of order.

 Will Durant quotes (American Writer and Historian, collaborator of his wife, Ariel Durant. 1885-1981)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteThat was one of the things she held against missionaries: how they stressed Christ's submission to humiliation, and so had conditioned the people of Africa to humiliation by the white man

 Nadine Gordimer quotes (South African novelist and short-story writer, 1991 Nobel Prize for Literature, b.1923)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteReality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it

 Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteWhen stress is at it's highest, just know it can only go down.

 Tom Rataj quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteThe greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.

 William James quotes (American Philosopher and Psychologist, leader of the philosophical movement of Pragmatism, 1842-1910)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteUnnatural work produces too much stress.

 Bhagavad Gita quotes

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stressed synonyms: distressed, in a bad way.
See also: stress, stresses, Stressing.
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