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Microwave quotes

“It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: "THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE." Loosely translated, this means, "You're on your own, Bernice."”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
Similar Quotes. About: Houses quotes.
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“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?”
dmg Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“Quick note here: if this crush-slash-swooning stuff is hard for you to stomach, if you’ve never had a similar experience, then you should come to grips with the fact that you’ve got a TV dinner for a heart and might want to consider climbing inside a microwave and turning it on high for at least an hour, which if you do consider only goes to show what kind of idiot you truly are because microwaves are way too small for anyone, let alone you, to climb into.”
dharmabum1102 Mark Danielewski quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Love quotes.
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“The packaging for a microwavable "microwave" dinner is programmed for a shelf life of maybe six months, a cook time of two minutes and a landfill dead-time of centuries.”
David Wann quotes

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