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 Quotes with keywords > H > HE > hey
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Hey quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteAnd you don’t get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go, “Hey! Oh, you’re new here, aren’t you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee- I can get you a coffee… You know, I like my coffee like I like my women- in a plastic cup!”

Beekeepers can’t do that! 2,000 bees… (buzzing sounds)

“Hello, there, you in the street! You’re new, aren’t you?”

(scared) “Huh?”

“Do you want a cup of coffee? It’s no problem! (buzzing continues) No real problem…”

“I don’t want a cup of coffee from you! You’re covered in bees!”

“I like my women like I like my coffee… covered in bees! Now back off, back off!” (screams)

They’re always just behind you… or in front. If beekeepers get together, and go in a sort of general outing, and they’re in a van with a lot of bees following, “Faster! Faster! (buzzing sounds) Faster! Put your foot down!”(sighs) Yes…

 Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote[after settling a fight between Monica and Rachel]

Phoebe: Hey, if we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches

 Friends quotes (American television situation comedy.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote"Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: "How the Grinch Stole the Election". And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we?

Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot,

But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not.

I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking,

By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking.

Election Day came and the voting was close,

At one point the Grinch even started to boast,

'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed,

Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane.

But was he the winner, hey not so fast--

Al Gore called him up and said, "Grinch, kiss my ass!"

The race was too tight to say who was elected,

The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected.

All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess,

But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess,

Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked,

They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich.

The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets,

To complain about fraud, not to mention the heat.

The Grinch said something that couldn't be gosher,

'This election my friends, is perfectly kosher.'

Then a judge ruled each vote should be counted by hand,

The Grinch said, 'That's not what my brother Jeb had planned.'

His lawyers filed motions and junctions and writs,

Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits.

But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through,

He met Cindy Lou Lipshitz, age 92.

'Why?' she cried, 'Did you steal our election?'

The Grinch just laughed and gave her a lethal injection.

They say the Grinch's ego grew 3 sizes that day,

Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way.

So here's a lesson for now and for later,

Don’t blame me-- I voted for Nader!"

 Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)

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