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Tim Allen quotes

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American Actor and Comedian, b.1953

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, ... Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.”

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