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Steven Wright quotes

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American Comedian, b.1955
Steven Wright quotes
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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“a tax on people who are bad at math.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.”
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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The statue is permanently out of place in my house,”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,”

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