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Steven Wright quotes

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American Comedian, b.1955
Steven Wright quotes
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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises the baby makes so later I can ask him what he meant.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.”

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