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21-30 Quotations of 38

Quotes sent by xxxbefxxx

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteThere are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall, so many laws to keep you from experience. All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy, stifling state in which most people pass through life. I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun - hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks. People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case." I will turn and say to them "It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!" And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.
 xxxbefxxx

 Henry Rollins quotes (American Rock Singer, Author, Actor and Poet, b.1961)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get the fuck away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then at that point it changes and you're like, 'I did that. I changed the traffic in the city... I have a lot of power.' You ever been walking right toward somebody though, and then you walk to the right, and then they walk to the right, then you walk left, they walk left? You know how there's like that awkward moment? ...Just lean forward and kiss 'em. '....looked like you wanted it from my angle.' Then when they're walking away just hit 'em on the ass. (Pshhh) 'You'll be back! You'll be back for some of that loving.''
 xxxbefxxx

 Jim Gaffigan quotes (American born Comedian, b.1966)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteSo I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' ...Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! ...What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who) No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shafsbry... with hooligans...' What the HELL are you talkin' about? Hooligans? Roughians? Speak English! It's Crypt, Blood. I mean, I'm sure it's a serious thing, Hooligans, but it just sounds stupid, doesn't it? I picture a bunch of pale guys with pennyloafers and no socks. (to a tune) 'We're the hooligans!' (Sound of knocking dustbin over) 'Come here, you fuckers, come here.' 'Nope! Got-to catch us! If you corner me I might become a scalliwag!' ...It doesn't sound scary at all, does it? They have proper crime there. I'd love to put the hooligans up against the Bloods in LA... that would be a short gang battle. (To a tune, again) 'We're the hooligans!' (sound of dustbin knocking over)-- (boom boom boom *gunshots*). '...huh? Hoola-somethin', I didn't catch it all. Mothafucka danced up to me and patted me on the head. Pale mothafucka, look at that thing.' It wouldn't be a long gang battle. I'm bettin' on the Bloods.
 xxxbefxxx

 Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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Books by contributor: xxxbefxxx

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daily (1), Henry Rollins (11), Woody Allen (7), Against Me! (0), Kurt Cobain (25), Eddie Izzard (20), Al Franken (4), Billy Connolly (19), Lenny Bruce (22), Tim Allen (4), Steven Wright (4), Conan O'Brien (20), Janeane Garofalo (5), Bill Cosby (23), G.K. Chesterton (19), Michael Moore (21), Hunter S. Thompson (24), Jack Kerouac (21), Jeff Foxworthy (8), Robin Williams (53), Denis Leary (8), Jerry Seinfeld (12), Chris Rock (14), George Carlin (96), Jon Stewart (10), Bill Maher (49), Bill Hicks (58), Mitch Hedberg (48)

   
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