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Rodney Dangerfield quotes

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American Comedian, 1921-2004

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”
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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.”

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