“The more money I earn, the less they can stop me. Where I come from it's called fuck you money because I don't have to take an ounce of shit from anybody.”
“Librarians see themselves as the guardians of the First Amendment. You got a thousand Mother Joneses at the barricades! I love the librarians, and I am grateful for them!”
“He [President Bush] is probably choking on a pretzel or something. I hope nobody tells him that I have won this award while he is eating a pretzel. ... He has the funniest lines in the film. I am eternally grateful to him.”
“You know he[George W. Bush] is there[in the White House] illegally. You know he was not elected either by the popular vote or by the vote in Florida.”
“Well I failed to bring Roger to Flint. As we neared the end of the twentieth century, the rich were richer, the poor, poorer. And people everywhere now had a lot less lint, thanks to the lint rollers made in my hometown. It was truly the dawn of a new era.”
“I'm going to do damage with it. I'll make sure that my work gets out. That no publisher will ever be able to tell me to take things out. Because I'll put it out myself. The more money I earn, the less they can stop me. Where I come from it's called fuck you money because I don't have to take an ounce of shit from anybody.”
