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“Yesterday American and British troops handed out food to hundreds of Iraqis. Not surprisingly, the Iraqis handed the British food back.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)

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“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
Similar Quotes. About: Movies quotes.
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“Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
Similar Quotes. About: Movies quotes, Cinema quotes.
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“CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how to get ink off your fingers using seltzer water and lemon juice.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.”
Luckee15 Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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