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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

About: Humor quotes, Mankind quotes, Inventions quotes, History quotes.

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“What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Humanity quotes.

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“Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Popularity quotes.

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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.

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“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer”

Henry Lawson quotes

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“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Dogs quotes.

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“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Arguments quotes, People quotes.

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