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“When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“The patience of a mother might be likened to a tube of toothpaste - it's never quite all gone”

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“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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