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“We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.”

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Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.”

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Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Travel quotes, Funny quotes, Language quotes, America and Americans quotes, Comedy quotes.

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“If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Democracy quotes.

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