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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteStrange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
 samac

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteHe must be a king.
Why?
He hasn't got shit all over him.
 mazleg

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteI don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteThe Castle Aaahhhgggg - our quest is at an end.
 funky_music25

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteTonight, instead of discussing the existence or non- existence of God, they have decided to fight for it

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteXiminez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?
Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!
Biggles: Here they are, lord.
Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
 mojomonkey77

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteOh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock, Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteAlways look on the bright side of life.
 femmeke830

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteBEN: You lucky, lucky bastard.
BRIAN: What?
BEN: Proper little jailer's pet, aren't we?
BRIAN: What do you mean?
BEN: You must have slipped him a few shekels, eh?
BRIAN: Slipped him a few shekels? You saw him spit in my face!
BEN: Ohh! What wouldn't I give to be spat at in the face! I sometimes hang
awake at night dreaming of being spat at in the face.
BRIAN: Well, it's not exactly friendly, is it? They had me in manacles!
BEN: Manacles! Ooh oooh oh oh. My idea of heaven is to be allowed to be
put in manacles... just for a few hours. They must think the sun shines out o' your arse, sonny.
BRIAN: Oh, lay off me. I've had a hard time!
BEN: You've had a hard time?! I've been here five years! They only hung me
the right way up yesterday! So, don't you come 'rou--
BRIAN: All right. All right.
BEN: They must think you're Lord God Almighty.
BRIAN: What will they do to me?
BEN: Oh, you'll probably get away with crucifixion.
BRIAN: Crucifixion?!
BEN: Yeah, first offence.
BRIAN: Get away with crucifixion?! It's--
BEN: Best thing the Romans ever did for us.
BRIAN: What?!
BEN: Oh, yeah. If we didn't have crucifixion, this country would be in a
right bloody mess.
BRIAN: Guards!
BEN: Nail him up, I say!
 mojomonkey77

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteDinsdale, He was a nice boy...... He nailed my head to a coffee table.
 thedoooood

 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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