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“This is going to sound pathetic, but I don't think I've ever done anything for Valentine's Day.”


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“I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?”
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“I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”

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“Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine!”
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