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“They would not be smart enough to pour piss out of their boots, if the instructions were written on the sole”
Garrison Keillor quotes (American writer and broadcaster b.1942)

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“A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it”
Garrison Keillor quotes (American writer and broadcaster b.1942)
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“A compassionate conservative is someone who electrocutes juveniles but lets them have a last 'make a wish'”
Garrison Keillor quotes (American writer and broadcaster b.1942)
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“Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth-breather there is.”
Garrison Keillor quotes (American writer and broadcaster b.1942)
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“It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.”
Garrison Keillor quotes (American writer and broadcaster b.1942)
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“Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.”
Garrison Keillor quotes (American writer and broadcaster b.1942)
Similar Quotes. About: Beauty quotes, Mind quotes.
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“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function”
Garrison Keillor quotes (American writer and broadcaster b.1942)
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“Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.”
Garrison Keillor quotes (American writer and broadcaster b.1942)
Similar Quotes. About: Life quotes.
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“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.”
Garrison Keillor quotes (American writer and broadcaster b.1942)
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