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“There's no cure for getting depressed. There's no cure for self-loathing or periods of it. But figure out enough about it so that when it happens, you can get over it and keep moving and just accomplish more.”
Luckee15 Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)

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“The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.”
Luckee15 Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“When all else fails there's always delusion”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has unveiled a new color-coded system to warn the public about different states of danger. Red is the highest state of alert, and it means that Dick Cheney is about to eat a mozzarella stick.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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