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“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.”

Franklin P. Jones quotes (American Businessman, 1887-1929)

About: Funny quotes.

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11-20 Quotations of 2073

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“Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.”

Similar Quotes. About: Friends quotes, Friendship quotes, Funny quotes.

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“There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't”

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“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Foolishness quotes, Women quotes.

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“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.”

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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”

Lynda Montgomery quotes

Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Funny quotes.

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“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”

Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)
Character: Charlie Brown quotes. Book: Peanuts quotes

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Wisdom quotes, Funny quotes, Lies quotes, Questioning quotes.

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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”

Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Relationships quotes.

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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”

Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.

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“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Cats quotes.

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“Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”

Dr. Laurence J. Peter quotes (American "hierarchiologist", Educator and Writer, 1919-1990)

Similar Quotes. About: Communication quotes, Funny quotes, Anger quotes, Speech quotes.

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