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“The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.”
flo_tasker John Cleese quotes (English comic Actor (Monty Python), b.1939)

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“Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies”
John Cleese quotes (English comic Actor (Monty Python), b.1939)
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“If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.”
John Cleese quotes (English comic Actor (Monty Python), b.1939)
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“If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'”
John Cleese quotes (English comic Actor (Monty Python), b.1939)
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“He who laughs most, learns best.”
John Cleese quotes (English comic Actor (Monty Python), b.1939)
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“If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.”
John Cleese quotes (English comic Actor (Monty Python), b.1939)
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“At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.”
santiz Eric Idle quotes (English Actor and Comedian (Monty Python), b.1943)
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“Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.”
Lalida John Cleese quotes (English comic Actor (Monty Python), b.1939)
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“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.”
santiz Eric Idle quotes (English Actor and Comedian (Monty Python), b.1943)
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“Christmas carolers sing about peace on earth, but they don’t tell us where.”
ariel
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“Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.”
Oren Arnold quotes
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