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“The members took turns lighting sparklers and signing their John Hancocks to the Declaration, with one prankster even going so far as to actually write John Hancock.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Work quotes.
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“I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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