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“The magician and the politician have much in common: they both have to draw our attention away from what they are really doing.”
Ben Okri quotes (Nigerian author who uses magic realism to convey the social and political chaos in his country, 1959)
About: Funny quotes, Politicians quotes, Magic quotes.
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“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”
Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Divorce quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
Jenny0103 Tommy Cooper quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Emo Philips quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Forgiveness quotes.
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“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.”
Rita Mae Brown quotes (American Writer, b.1944)
Similar Quotes. About: Best friend quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Drugs quotes.
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“Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.”
Jenny0103 Bill Maher quotes (American Comedian, Actor, Writer and Producer. b.1956)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that's really where you wish they were.”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Tact quotes.
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“Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”
Fran Lebowitz quotes (American Writer and Humorist, b.1950)
Similar Quotes. About: Teenage quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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