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“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Writing quotes, Funny quotes, Religion quotes, Problems quotes.

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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Mankind quotes, Inventions quotes, History quotes.

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“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Science quotes.

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“All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Fear quotes.

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“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.”

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Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Popularity quotes.

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“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.”

Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

Similar Quotes. About: Religion quotes, People quotes.

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