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“Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)

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31-40 Quotations of 120

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“Most people are not particularly good at anything”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
Anand_Singh George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Think off-center.”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Coliseum called the Caesarian Section”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Alcohol quotes, Women quotes.
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