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“Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)

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“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
Similar Quotes. About: Movies quotes, Cinema quotes.
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“If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
Similar Quotes. About: Life quotes.
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“President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
Similar Quotes. About: Presidency quotes.
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“The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Presidential campaign getting kind of ugly, did you hear about this? Yesterday, a 27- year-old woman came forward to deny rumors that she had an affair with Democratic front- runner John Kerry. The woman added, "I would never cheat on Bill Clinton.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob.”
Demono Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
Similar Quotes. About: Movies quotes.
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“President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003.”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
Similar Quotes. About: America and Americans quotes.
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