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“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head -- supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.”
weejimmy Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I¹m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People shout: "Hey I know you! You're That Guy."”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I don't believe in angels, no. . . . But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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