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“Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”
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“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
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“I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”
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“Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”
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“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
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“A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
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“All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“When humor goes, there goes civilization.”
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