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“Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.”
santiz Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)

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“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize”
Jenny0103 Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
Zinger Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.”
Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.”
Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“What a nice night for an evening.”
Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“Hermits have no peer pressure.”
Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.”
Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.”
Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, so. What did you think?”
Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.”
Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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