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“Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you," to dessert that night. And for what!”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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31-40 Quotations of 97

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“As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Business quotes, Gifts quotes.
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“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
wolfdyke Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)
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“Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Danger quotes.
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“Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Gossip quotes.
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“There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: "THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE." Loosely translated, this means, "You're on your own, Bernice."”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes.
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