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“It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. That’s Renaissance, FRENCH for ‘re-birth’. Re-nais-sance. And that’s why most of the Renaissance happened slap bang in the middle of Fr…Italy.”
katysara Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon.”
ScreamItAway Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.”
katysara Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"”
Hassle Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we can swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play for you. That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.”
maaatin Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“I am an evil giraffe, and I shall eat more leaves from this tree then prehaps I should, so that other giraffes may die”
huntingyoudown Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“"We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Yeah, just sail around the world and stick a flag in. - I claim India for Britain! They go, - You can't claim us, we live here! 500 million of us! - Do you have a flag? - We don't need a bloody flag! It's our country, you bastards! - No flag, no country, you can't have one! That's the rules that I've just made up, and I'm backing it up with this gun that was lent from the National Rifle Association."”
ScreamItAway Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“Never put a sock in a toaster.”
Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“You say 'erbs, and we say Herbs because there's a f*****g H in it!”
ScreamItAway Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself.'”
acc177 Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!”
Deenia Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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