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“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Alcohol quotes, Women quotes.
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“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”
no_echo George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Youth quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.
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“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework”
Bill Cosby quotes (American Actor, Comedian and Producer. b.1937, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Education quotes, Sex quotes, Children quotes, Funny quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.”
Chauncey Depew quotes (American Industrialist and Politician, 1834-1928)
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“Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.” The Simpsons
dmg Matt Groening quotes (American Cartoonist, creator of The Simpsons. b.1954) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried”

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