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“In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford- were caused by erosion.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Admit it, sport-utility-vehicle owners! It's shaped a little differently, but it's a station wagon! And you do not drive it across rivers! You drive it across the Wal-Mart parking lot!”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“To enter Europe, you must have a valid passport with a photograph of yourself in which you look like you are being booked on charges of soliciting sheep.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God had wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“It is a well-known fact that although the public is fine when taken individually, when it forms itself into large groups, it tends to act as though it has one partially consumed Pez tablet for a brain.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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