Advanced Search My Account Help

Add the "Dynamic Daily Quotation" to Your Site or Blog - it's Easy!

Quotation:

“If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say”
Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Add to Chapter...

11-20 Quotations of 225

Users who liked this quote also liked:

“There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves.”
dmg Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.”
Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?”
dmg Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes. Suggestions: Math quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.”
dmg Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"”
dmg Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."”
dmg Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I hope if dogs take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”
Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.”
Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I think there should be something in science called the "reindeer effect." I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect."”
dmg Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.”
dmg Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

Suggested

> T-Shirt quotes
> funny quotes
> famous quotes
> movie quotes
> sayings
> proverbs
> funny sayings
> Inspirational Quotes
> Cute Quotes
> Friendship Quotes
> Motivational Quotes

ThinkExist.com Quotations
Privacy & Security Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | About us | Press room | Contact us | Help
Copyright ® ThinkExist 1999-2009