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“I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“Is it weird in here, or is it just me?”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I'm not naked, I'm in the band."”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)... and says, "Here, you can go."”

Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

Similar Quotes. About: Cheating quotes.

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