Quotation: “I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, “Oh, my God! What haven’t I…? Rwanda! I better create Rwanda! Sorry, haven’t quite done that… The Tower of Pisa! Oh, it’s leaning… Oh, shi… done! Toilets in French camping sites… there we go. English football hooligans… there we go, whatever that is… Mrs. Thatcher’s heart… there we go… oh, fuck that! I know, I’ll put a stone in, that’ll work! There we go…”
The next week, I think, people are coming back, going, “Rwanda doesn’t work very well; infrastructure’s fucked.”” | Arco Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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1-10 Quotations of 76 Users who liked this quote also liked: “But with dogs, we do have “bad dog.” Bad dog exists. “Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!” The dog is saying, “Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!”
“Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.”” | Arco Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“And they always find in archeology “a series of small walls.” Every time, a series of small walls. Everywhere you go. “We’ve found a series of small walls, we’re very excited… I think this proves they had walls in olden days. They were very small, and… a series of small wall people.” And then someone comes along, very learned, with glasses, “Of course, the king and queen entertained here… 1,500 courtiers, and there were soldiers, 20,000 soldiers in this room, and elephants dancing hopscotch over there… A mad fiddler in this room, playing the banjo, buttocks and aqueducts into a heater…” And you’re just watching, and going, “You’re making this up, mate! You’re just pointing at a series of small walls, going, ‘there, there… Tutankhamen playing banjo in there…’ Don’t know if it’s true.”” | Arco Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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“‘Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy; and the Romans thought, "Relaxed and groovy?! No, no, no, no, no!" So they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it?” | Arco Eddie Izzard quotes (British stand-up Comedian and Actor. b.1962)
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