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“I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.”
dmg Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.”
dmg Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done.”
dmg Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Alcohol quotes, Women quotes.
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“Do you want the job done right, or do you want it done fast?”
Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.”
Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?”
dmg Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!”
dmg Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.”
dmg Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958) Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
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“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Divorce quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes.
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