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“I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Action quotes, Talent quotes.
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“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Funny quotes.
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“In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Knowledge quotes.
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“Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you," to dessert that night. And for what!”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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