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“I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass”
Phyllis Diller quotes (American comedienne and actress, born 1917)

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“We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”
Phyllis Diller quotes (American comedienne and actress, born 1917)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Teachers and teaching quotes.
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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Relationships quotes.
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“The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
Similar Quotes. About: Comedy quotes.
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