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“I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
About: Funny quotes, Fathers quotes.
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“I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Funny quotes.
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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
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“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
Earl Wilson quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Money quotes, Funny quotes, Self Importance quotes.
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“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”
Warren Hutcherson quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.
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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Relationships quotes.
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“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Divorce quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
Lynda Montgomery quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Frank Sinatra quotes (American Actor and Singer, 1915-1998)
Similar Quotes. About: Drinking quotes, Funny quotes, Mankind quotes, Enemies quotes, Alcohol quotes.
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