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“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Driving quotes.
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“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Alcohol quotes, Women quotes.
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“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Church quotes, Nations quotes, Separation quotes.
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“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Authority quotes.
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“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Thinking quotes.
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