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“Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.”
Mitchell Kapor quotes
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“Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks”

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“Hooked on Internet? Help Is a Just a Click Away”

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“Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life”
Andrew Brown quotes (English Journalist and Author)
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“What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true.”
Ian Hart quotes
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“The Internet "browser"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow.”
Bill Gates quotes (American Entrepreneur and Founder of Microsoft Co., b.1955)
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“On the Internet, Nobody Knows You're a Dog.”
Peter Steiner quotes
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“Internet: absolute communication, absolute isolation.”
Carvel Paul Carvel quotes (Belgian Writer and Editor, b.1964)
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