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“For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.”
NoxTheLost Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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1-10 Quotations of 47

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“I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
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“If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.”
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“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
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“Does anyone know...does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because...uh...you've all been in charge pretty much since...uh...what was that guys name...Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.”
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“I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.”
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“There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on "Friends" is.”
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“That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.”
NoxTheLost Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.”
NoxTheLost Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television. It doesn't. It's like the way free speech doesn't apply at work. You can't just walk into your boss' office and say 'you're a fuckface and I'm gonna go back to work now.' No, you're not.”
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“Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.”
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Similar Quotes. About: Fraud quotes, Terror Alert quotes, Enron quotes, Global Crossing quotes.
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